I am sorry.

You are useless, you are a Failure! In the camp, you always ask the campers to keep the attitude eggs to show their responsibility, teach others how to be responsible yet what have you done all this while? How many hand phones you've lost? Why are you so careless? How many times do you want to hurt daddy? It is all your fault for not being responsible to your belongings!!! 

I am so sorry. I will not forgive myself forever. For once I am thinking to just bang to the car and end my life, so that I do not need to face the guilt in me, so that I do not have to hurt daddy anymore. I also think to just go back to Kampar so that I can escape from everything here. I blame myself for what I've done, I even hate myself for the carelessness.

Aren't you a coward?! All you think is to escape, Escape and ESCAPE! You know nothing else? You are damn USELESS!!  I hate you!!! If you were to escape from all these, if u choose to end your life, if u choose to run back to Kampar; do you think your problem is solved? Do you think others will forgive you? Do you think it can heal your dad's feeling? You are a piece of shit!

Yes, I am a fool. I can't even protect my personal belonging. Furthermore it was just bought one month ago. It is my fault to lose it, so I will not want anyone to forgive or sympathize me. Instead, I would do anything to cheer my dad up. I want to excel in studies, I want to succeed in life. I want my dad to live a happier and stress-free life and pay back all the mistakes I've done.

You can cry, cry as long as you want but make sure you can achieve what you have promised. Please do not do stupid thing anymore because yourself is already a big stupid sad case for your dad! Tearbaby must learn to BE RESPONSIBLE instead of crying and crying!

Papa, I am really sorry to spoil your mood in this Chinese New Year. I know I can't do anything better than keeping quiet right now. I know how you feel when I realize the phone costs you RM799. I will not allow myself to ask for more phones from you. I will use my own strength to buy myself a phone, so even if I lost it again, I can slap myself and you will not be involved!!

Anyway, I owe you an apology. I feel really guilty to hurt you. I am so sorry. T_T